Now that marijuana is legal, it’s more important than ever to have conversations with your teen or preteen and make it clear about your values and approach with this issue. I want to provide you with some guidance to help you do that.
Teen pot usage over the past few years has remained relatively flat. However, what’s changed is the average teen’s perception about the amount of harm that marijuana can cause, which has gone down. Legalization will certainly contribute to this misperception. It’s important that we don’t get alarmist about this. A lot of teens have and/or will try some pot during their high school years and do just fine, but a lot of them won’t.
Teens smoke pot for a lot of different reasons. Some of the common rationalizations I hear are that it’s “not a big deal,” “safer than alcohol,” and “normal teen behavior.” Some kids smoke to fit in, socialize, cope with stress, anxiety, depression or other mental health issues, and in some cases, just because it’s there.
As parents and adults helping teens, it’s really important that we not overreact but make sure they know some of the facts. Here are a few that I think are important for all teens to know about:
- In 1985, average THC was less than 4%. In 2009, average THC was close to 10%.
- The part of the brain most affected by pot is the prefrontal cortex. The most fragile and impressionable part of the adolescent brain also happens to be the prefrontal cortex. This part of our brain isn’t done developing until our mid 20’s.
- Age matters. The younger a teen is, the more damage it causes to their brain and the more risk there will be for long term consequences.
- Research has shown that regular use during adolescence, particularly younger adolescence, contributes to problems with memory, concentration and even lower IQ scores.
- In 2014, 16 percent of 10th graders and 21 percent of 12th graders reported smoking marijuana in the past month. Take away message: A lot of kids are doing it, but the vast majority is not.
With that being said, I think it’s really important to have some strategies and be thoughtful about how you address this issue with your teen. Here are 10 tips:
- Have ongoing conversations. Talks should be brief and happen over time. Show that you understand his circumstances and the world he lives in.
- Don’t overreact. Instead, listen and problem solve together.
- Have a clear message but acknowledge your limitations. “We don’t want you smoking pot but we understand that we can’t stop you from doing it.”
- Address underlying issues. A lot of kids are smoking pot to cope with stress, anxiety, depression, family conflict, etc.
- Help your teen find balance. Prosocial activities, positive family relationships, supportive friends and academic engagement are all important.
- Be willing to change some of your parenting practices. This is your problem too and you’ll need to be part of the solution.
- Acknowledge your past use but use context. The pot when we were young was much less potent and harder to get. We also didn’t have access to the information and science that is available today.
- Be sure you’re calm before addressing your child. Sometimes, the best response is “We’ll talk about this tomorrow.”
- Don’t focus on consequences or issue threats. You can take away her phone, but in return, you’re likely to get back anger, hostility and more negative behavior. Instead, reiterate your concerns…Brain, present and future choices and options, underlying issues like stress, anxiety and/or depression. Find a natural consequence that’s reasonable and your teen buys into.
- Don’t pathologize or label your teen. Identifying a 15 year-old as an addict or the cause of all the families problems get’s everyone further away from solutions.
As a parent that presumably doesn’t want your teen smoking pot, you have a tough job. You’re fighting against a society and adolescent culture that minimizes the adverse affects of this drug on young people. While you can’t ensure that your teen won’t smoke weed, it’s also not helpful to throw up your hands and give in. There’s a lot you can and should do. Talk calmly and regularly while emphasizing your concerns and empathizing with her circumstances. Also, continue to help ensure that your teen has balance in his life and is getting the support and skills he needs.
Are you concerned that your teen won’t listen to you? I recommend a new book called The Teenage Brain by Frances Jensen. There’s an entire chapter just about Marijuana. Whether you have concerns or not, I encourage you to have your teen read that chapter on his own. There are also some great websites for teens. Two that I recommend for teens are reachout.com and teens.drugabuse.gov.
